Breaking the Time Off Taboo: A fresh perspective on end-of-year vacations
As I write this, the end of the year is fast approaching. Days are shorter, nights longer, and the chill in the air has gone past “fresh” to down right cold! Sometimes it's tough to think, let alone work. So, let's talk about holiday vacation.
I’m not talking about the details of where you might go, or for how long - although I do always love a good holiday picture (and you’ll see a few of mine in this post.)
I’m more interested in how you think about time off.
A few questions come to mind:
If you haven't planned time off for yourself, what's holding you back?
What stories do you tell yourself and your team about taking time off?
How can time off best serve you?
What does re-entry, post new year, look like to you?
These questions have been the topic of many of my coaching conversations recently and have initiated some thoughtful reflections on the importance of not only taking time off, but how we think about time off in general. In fact, if you're in a position of leadership, your actions and behaviours about your own vacation set a tone for your team and wider organisation about what is “acceptable” and what’s not.
So, when you’re considering taking time off over the next few months, think about these questions. And then ask yourself … do I need to redefine vacation time?
If you haven't planned time off for yourself, what's holding you back?
Taking a break from our every day routine and stresses of work has countless benefits, many of which are backed by absolute reams of data. Research shows that taking a vacation can lower our stress levels, increase wellness and even make us more productive, creative and motivated when we return to work. In some cases, it can even lead to an increase in income! Here are a few interesting nuggets to consider when you’re thinking about vacation:
How we spend our time makes a difference: A study in Science Daily shows that disconnecting from electronic devices and hiking in nature for four days leads to a 50% increase in creativity.
What we do while we’re away makes a difference: Brain imaging studies show that doing nothing, being idle, daydreaming, and relaxing creates alpha waves in the brain that are key to creative insights and innovative breakthroughs. Furthermore, research by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson shows that positive emotions—the kind we feel on a relaxing, playful vacation—make us more inventive and able to think outside the box.
The amount of time we take off makes a difference: Get this! According to a Harvard Business Review article, there’s a correlation between taking more time off and the increased likelihood of getting a raise. “People who took fewer than 10 of their vacation days per year had a 34.6% likelihood of receiving a raise or bonus in a three-year period of time. While people who took more than 10 of their vacation days had a 65.4% chance of receiving a raise or bonus. If you take 11 or more of your vacation days, you are more than 30% more likely to receive a raise.”
So, if the data tells us that taking time off is a positive on so many levels, I often wonder why so many don’t take a holiday?
There’s also loads of data that tells us that many of us just don’t take time off when it’s on offer. Even before the pandemic, it was common for Americans to leave a lot of their allocated vacation time on the table. A Glassdoor study found that workers in the US used about 54% of their annual leave. In the UK, the number was slightly lower at 33% of the workforce leaving time off untouched. And when we do take time off, completely checking out or disconnecting from work becomes a huge challenge.
So, what’s holding us back from taking the time and actually disconnecting?
A study by the US Travel Association found that 28% of people don’t take vacation to demonstrate dedication to their job and not be seen as a “slacker.”
That aligns with a lot of what I hear in my coaching conversations. Some common responses to the question “What’s holding you back from taking vacation?,” include:
“I’m just too busy”
“The team is going through lots of changes, and they need me.”
“I have to get us through the next round of planning/product release/hiring … and then I can take a break.”
“What if something happens and I’m not there….?”
“I want to show that I’m really bought into what we’re building.”
When I hear these explanations from clients I challenge them with one simple question … “Is that true?” For many, the answer is “no.”
From my own personal experiences and conversations with colleagues and clients, what is true is that there’s a lot of fear that exists around the idea of taking time off; fear on missing out, fear of being replaced, fear of being found out as an imposter.
But here’s the thing… without questioning the fear and trying to understand it, we run the risk of falling into a negative pattern of glorifying work and overwork. We put work over health and wellness and all of those other benefits listed above and supported by data.
And when you prioritise this type of fear-driven work style as a leader, your team picks up on it and mimics it.
It’s up to you to know when to say when and break the cycle. You have the agency and power to choose to set an example for your team to put themselves and their wellbeing first, replacing whatever latest and greatest deadline which might be looming.
Even if you're not in a leadership role, you can still set an example for the team and those around you, and even “manage up” by putting your own health first. No matter your role, you can be a role model.
And once you acknowledge it’s time to take a break - be it a few days, weeks or months - the next question to consider is how you communicate your time off to your team and those around you.
What story are you telling your team and others about taking time off?
Storytelling is a big part of what Product Leaders do, and believe it or not, that includes the story you tell yourself and others about taking time off.
When I’ve gone on vacation in the past, my story is usually one that justifies why I deserve and need time off. After all, what is it about me that makes me so special that I can take time off when others don’t?
As such, my story of justification often taps into at least one of the following themes:
Overwork: I’ve been working non-stop for X months without a break and am I nearing burnt out.
Major life shift: I’ve just moved to a new house/state/country and there’s so much to figure out that I’m just worn out. Oh, and you remember the pandemic … how exhausting have the last few years been!?
Health issues: I am not feeling well and if I don’t take care of it now, I’ll pay for it later.
But what I’ve realised is that the more I justify time off - with one or more of these explanations - the more vacation becomes something that I put on a pedestal; something I can only deserve after working like mad and neglecting other areas of life. Taking time off becomes a story of drama with traces of tragedy and chaos, rather than a natural part of the healthy life that I want to lead and enjoy.
And again, as leaders, our actions and behaviours bring the story to life and have a massive impact on how our teams think of their own time off.
So here’s my challenge to you. Consider how you're thinking and talking about taking time off. Are you telling a story of justification to yourself and others? If so, where do your storylines come from? What could the story be if there was no demand for justification? Try to check yourself when you slip into these thought patterns and limiting beliefs. Write them down. Talk to your friends, family, coaches and colleagues about them. Challenge them and redefine them.
Do the work, because once you do, you’ll be better equipped to shift from a mindset of justification to one of enjoyment .. and even celebration!
How can time off best serve you?
“The holidays shouldn’t be a time to recharge. They should be a time to celebrate.”
Adam Grant
We all have our own definition of what is might mean to celebrate our time off. For some it’s a totally relaxed trip to the beach, for others it’s a super planned-out trip to your new favourite destination with exciting excursions and dinner reservations booked weeks ahead. Or it might even be a chance to just stay home and stop!
Personally, some of the best advice that I’ve received recently about designing my time off came from my own coach. “Give yourself permission to do what feels good on the day.” For me, that means not over-stretching myself with travel plans, meetings up with friends or any of those things that are on my “should” list.
Instead, I’ll be checking-in with myself every morning and asking “what do I want to do today?” “What does celebration look like for me today?” Just the idea of less focus on what I’m doing leaves more time to focus on how I’m doing.
No matter what your flavour of celebrating time off is, be mindful and curious about it. Don’t forget to check in and give yourself space to say no to the big plans you might have made for the day or week. It’s such a good opportunity to learn to listen to what you need and respond in kind.
What does re-entry, post-vacation look like to you?
Yes, the holiday will come to an end and before we know it January will be here. I know it’s not something we like to think about, but when I was recently asked this question by my very insightful aunt - who is a retired therapist and now a practising Buddhist monk - it caught my attention.
At the end of an exchange about my time off she suggested:
“Imagine before you go how you would like to feel about your time off upon return. Then let the image and intention go!”
While it sounds simple, I think this could be the most challenging and powerful question of all when thinking about time off. It encourages you to get curious about what you really want from the holiday and acknowledge it. Then it challenges you to let any control of that outcome go. Because at the end of the day, no matter how detailed you get about planning your vacation, there is so much of it you can’t control.
But what you can do is set an intention for how you would like to feel when you come back. More connected? More grounded? More open to outcomes and less anxious? I am very happy to say that is entirely up to you!
So no matter if you’re considering a few days or a few weeks off over the holidays, please take some time to reflect on what time off means to you and those around you. It’s never too late to redefine your time off.
And as always, I’d love to help. Find out more about my Product Leadership Coaching offering here.
Thinking about taking a longer break or making some bigger changes to how you think about time off? Here’s some inspirational reading:
Soulcation: Design a Life you Don’t Need a Vacation From by Mel Miles
Soulbatical: A Corporate Rebels Guide to Finding Your Best Life by Shelly Paxton
The trials, tribulations and adulations of my first sabbatical. Which was now 20 years ago …Yikes!
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