The I-We-It Framework: Transforming Leadership from Inside Out
Aligning Personal Growth, Team Connection, and Organisational Success
Illustration by Robert Askew for Kate Leto
Leadership in action goes beyond achieving goals—it’s about aligning who you are, how you lead, and what you help to create. But what if I told you that sustainable leadership—the kind that fosters personal well-being, authentic relationships, and long-lasting organisational impact—requires something deeper? Enter the I-We-It framework, a transformative approach I use in my coaching work to help leaders find balance and focus in the complexity of their roles.
Where I-We-It comes from and how it works
The I-We-It framework was originally introduced by Ken Wilber, a pioneer in systems thinking and integral theory. It was later adapted by the American Leadership Forum (ALF) in Silicon Valley, where it quickly became a favourite among leaders grappling with the relentless demands of high-growth environments.
What makes this framework so powerful is its simplicity. It helps leaders focus on three interconnected dimensions of their work:
I (Self): How you lead yourself—your personal awareness, values, and inner growth.
We (Relationships): The quality of your connections with others, including trust, collaboration, and shared vision.
It (The Work): The tangible results you create, from strategies and outcomes to organisational and societal impact.
I-We-It has become a lens for balancing individual clarity, team alignment, and systemic outcomes. Whether you're leading a team, managing stakeholders, or driving change more widely, this framework helps ensure that no critical dimension gets left behind
What happens when you’re out of balance?
In my coaching work, I often see leaders thriving in one domain but struggling in others:
The “I”-centred leader: Self-aware and grounded, they invest in personal growth but sometimes fail to turn their insights into meaningful action that benefits their teams or organisations.
The “We”- focused leader: Collaborative and people-oriented, they build trust and harmony within their teams. But they may hesitate to assert their own needs or struggle to deliver measurable outcomes.
The “It”- driven leader: These leaders are laser-focused on results, outcomes, and deadlines. Their work shines, but their relationships often suffer, leaving teams disengaged or overwhelmed. They might even neglect their own well-being, resulting in burnout.
The beauty of I-We-It is that it doesn’t require perfection in all areas. Instead, it recognizes the ripple effect: small improvements in one dimension can lead to growth in the others.
For example, a leader who prioritises personal reflection (I) might find they become more empathetic in team discussions (We) and better able to articulate priorities for the organisation (It). Similarly, working toward team alignment (We) can unlock clarity in goals and outcomes (It) while reducing stress on the leader (I).
Making I-We-It Practical
Here’s a hands-on exercise to help you apply the framework right away:
Step 1: Map Your Leadership Focus
Draw three overlapping circles labeled I, We, and It. (Yes, a favourite of any technology leader, a Venn diagram!)
Within each circle, jot down examples of what you’re currently doing:
I: Self-reflection, learning, or self-care practices. (Daily journaling, attending local community meet-ups, tech-free weekends)
We: Team-building, stakeholder management, or peer collaboration. (Weekly “thank you” emails to team members, quarterly team retros, regular 1:1 with senior stakeholders and peers.)
It: Your key projects, deliverables, and strategic goals. (Defining/tracking quarterly OKRs, developing and getting buy-in on product strategy and vision, weekly updates to senior stakeholders.)
Step 2: Spot the imbalances
Look for gaps or overflows.
Are you overwhelmed by deliverables (It) but disconnected from your team (We) or neglecting self-care (I)?
Are strong relationships (We) making up for a lack of clarity in priorities (It)?
Step 3: Set one intention per circle
Choose one small, actionable step for each domain:
I: Start a 10-minute journaling habit to clarify your priorities.
We: Schedule a one-on-one with a team member to check in on their alignment and challenges.
It: Reassess your priorities and identify the top three deliverables for the month.
Step 4: Reflect and adjust
Revisit your diagram at the end of the week and note what’s working and what needs refinement.
Example in Action
Let me introduce you to Sarah, a product leader balancing a packed schedule. After completing the exercise, she realised:
Her I circle was nearly empty; she hadn’t made time for herself in weeks.
Her We circle was strained—her team wasn’t aligned, and stakeholder relationships felt transactional.
Her It circle was overflowing with deadlines and deliverables, leaving her feeling exhausted.
Here’s how Sarah used I-We-It:
I: She blocked 15 minutes each morning for quiet reflection, helping her set priorities and manage her energy.
We: She started hosting regular team check-ins to rebuild alignment and trust.
It: She clarified her top three priorities for the month, delegating lower-impact tasks to free up bandwidth.
Over time, Sarah noticed a shift: her team felt more connected and productive (We), her goals became more achievable (It), and she felt more energised and focused (I).
A new perspective on your Leadership
Leadership isn’t about doing more—it’s about aligning who you are, how you connect, and what you create. The I-We-It framework reminds us that the most impactful leaders are those who balance self-awareness (I), relational trust (We), and tangible results (It).
If you’ve ever felt pulled in too many directions, take a moment to pause. Where are you thriving? Where do you need to adjust? What small step can you take today to move closer to balance?
If this resonates with you, we’ll be exploring and applying the I-We-It framework in my upcoming Group Coaching for Product Leaders program starting in January. It’s a chance to align your leadership approach and connect with peers navigating similar challenges. There are only a few spots left, so drop me a line now to find out more.
